June 29, 2008

The Alpenrose 6 Day
(My Alpenrose Shits Days)

So, I wake up Monday feeling a little better, but decide it's best to go to the doctor. She says it's a virus, sends me on my way. Tells me to get lots of electrolytes and to grab a stool kit from the lab on my way out... just in case.

I call Haley and she says she had a stomach flu all weekend, as did what we found out later in the week to be 5 other teachers as well. Super. Misery loves company and we share our version of the killer virus, then wish each other a good week.

I call Dairen and tell her that I'm going to go for it. We'll race. I'll go easy that night. I'm not going to let this virus keep me from the first women's field 6-day in 99 years.

Monday night we manage to get down 2 laps- not a good start, but that's OK. I'll feel better the next day and we'll be fine.

Huh? Team China? But we're not Chinese and we're definitely not on the Chinese national team. Yes, Darien's friend from work found them at Nike in some marketing stuff for the Olympics. We wore them Monday for shits and giggles (yes, shits is a pun here). They were a hit. "Nee How! (Hi in Chinese)" Tuesday I was first to the track and wore my Livestrong kit, because it was MUCH more comfortable. Everyone was sad wanting to know, "Where's Team China?" So from Wednesday on, we gladly squeezed ourselves (the Chinese are not very big people) into our Team China kits and it was fun. Thanks Tony Halford for the cool photo.

Tuesday and Wednesday not so fine with the devil virus. I race like shit, I feel like shit, and I the morning, I deliver the shit... diawoowoo!

I got a chance to watch track racing from a new perspective- the bad of the pack. It's SO bad. I have nothing, since my body is a) calorie deficient and b) fighting the viral monster eating my gut. I got down 4 laps in two mass start races. 4. That's 2 laps in a 20 lap points race and another 2 in some other race.

Thursday night I actually feel OK. I had some of Jen's lasagna and ceaser salad after racing. Yum. Next morning (actually before morning- I had to wake up and jump in the shower at 4 am- thank god I sleep on my side)...diawoowoo.

Friday night, Jen makes some awesome pasta and lightly stirfried veggies. Saturday morning...diawoowoo.

Saturday morning I decide I've had enough diawoowoo-woowoo. I email doctor. Lucky for me she must be at the computer and responds for me to do the sample kit the next morning

GROSSEST THING IN THE WORLD! Seriously. It's not just poo in a tub and seal it up. No! I had to poo in a small tub (gagging) and then SCOOP the poo into a little jar (choking) and stir the shit up! UUUUGGGGHHHHHH! I drive the stinkywoowoo to the lab this morning and the phlebotomist (cool word- had to throw it in) hands me another tub. This one won't be so bad. This will be an easy poo in the tub and seal that shit up.

And to round out my Sunday morning, I went to Walmart. The mission was to find a window air conditioner. Stupid ting doesn't fit, so I get to take it back. But as I loafed around the super center, I discovered what I wish I would have thought of earler in the week- baby food!


erikv said...

When you're sliding into first
and your pants are gonna burst

Hope you're feeling better soon.