June 28, 2008

I struggled with the most creative title for this long overdue post...

Runnin' Around....no

Sewage In, Sewage Out... no

When you're sliding into first, and your pants're 'bout to burst....no

I finally decided on:


Let's go back 9 days. I'm driving to San Jose to their AVC with Larssyn and Jeanie in the car. All's well, until we stop at a rest area in No-Cal and I'm like- that's weird, I have total diawoowoo (that's my new pet name for it.)

For the next 3 days, life is shitty. I slept under an oak tree for two hours across the parking lot from the track as racers came and got ready. I was able to watch some racing. Now, at this time, I'm thinking that the Sushi I ate at the Medford Fred Meyer's was the culprit, so I'm certain I'll feel up to racing Saturday.

Saturday morning, it's HOT, so maybe I had a fever, who knows, but I suited up, warmed up, and sucked it up and in. My blistering 13.9 second 200m. is about a half second slower than a decent 200m at Alpenrose- the slowest track in the country. Well, that landed me 11th of 12 in the sprints. I had 3 lame sprints, going to the infield after each one and curling into a hot ball of crampiness and hate for whatever was in my belly!

I decide to skip the racing Saturday night. During the break, Jeanie put up with my crampy, gassy, groaning self. We go to Jamba Juice to slurp on about the only thing I've had an appetite for. No worries, because I'll feel better tomorrow for the ride home. (foreshadow hint- scroll down to see how long this post is.)

And the next morning, I felt great. I was irritated that I drove 600 miles to watch a bunch of bike racing, while wiggling to the port-o-john about every 5 minutes and leaving in the bowl a creamy green specimen for all the world to notice, since they don't flush, and by then everyone knew my condition, since they were curious why I wasn't racing. But I'm happy to be feeling better at Starbucks with my yummy breakfast sandwich and latte. Finally I had an appetite.

Fast Forward 2 hours. Sacramento Walgreens (yes, we missed the 505 turnoff from Oakland). Pepto Bismal and a pharmacist who says it will totally help... and then an upward explosive relinquishment of that yummy breakfast sandwich- nothing like yacking in a public toilet. Puke- n- rally dudes!

The next ten hours included a visit to every rest area from Sacramento to Eugene, where I finally began to feel better. We also stoppped in MT. Shasta city, where I nibbled on some KCF mash potatoes. I called the advice nurse at Kaiser and she tells me to quit drinking Pepto and begin the BRAT diet- bread, rice, applesauce, and toast. A quick stop at Shopko in Eugene to get some supplies, which included liners for the damn granny panties I'd be sporting the rest of the night. I had to sprinkle in that detail so that you really got the picture and an assumed definition of SHAT- if you had not one.

A quick time out for Jeanie who drove most of the way home and put up with me. What a great friend.

By the time I got home, I felt a bit better and decided to go to the doctor to see what she said.

To Be Continued....
Next on Heather's blog: Hello, my name is shata-lotta-lasagna.


Juicey said...

I woke up early this morning, no longer able to ignore the rumble in my tummy, read your post and was afraid I might wake you up with my laughing. You crack me up! Sorry you had a shitty week Heather - I hope you get your tummy and butt back soon!

Jeanie said...

LMAO! That was probably one of the more epic road trips I have been on. Let me add that most of the way home I was driving with the window DOWN and my head hanging OUT, gasping for air! Seriously, I hope that you kick this soon. It's been a rough week for you. Kudos for doing the Six Day.